It’s not who you are that’s holding you back, it’s who you think you’re not.Anonymous
Ever look at something and say, I can’t do ABC or I’m not able to do XYZ? You’re human, of course, you have! It is in our nature to quickly evaluate what we think we know about ourselves, what we believe to be our truth, and make such a bold claim like, “I can’t” or “I’m not”.
When you said that, you likely thought you have personal limitations that keep you from progressing, and you’ve likely tapped out your skillet, with nothing left to give. If there is one thing I know to be true, the minute you say you can’t or I’m not, then you won’t!
So why on earth did I pick an image of a banana peeled back with a cactus inside? Well, the truth is that this was me, or at least a good representation of me several years ago when I gained clarity around the people in my life that were not only extreme narcissists but also bullies. These individuals quite literally deteriorated the confidence that once radiated from me without a word ever passing my lips. It was that experience that caused me to close myself up in a “shell” or in this case, a banana peel, and only show the soft exterior that could be easily bruised. While closed up, the “I can’t and I’m Not’s” mounded so much that I was entombed by self-deprecating thoughts.
The day I walked out of the hospital after having been partially paralyzed following a stroke, I had a renewed faith in myself that if I could harness the strength it took to walk out, and reuse it, then there was nothing I could not accomplish. It was at that moment, I had full clarity over how such limiting beliefs were quite literally crippling me.
So get to the point, right? Okay, fine, I’ll tell you my secret. I assure you it is not some glamorous formula, a medication, or anything even close to that. The real simple answer here was saying to myself and to others (this is key) that I am a warrior! Heck, I’d even bust out my favorite superhero pose in front of the mirror from time to time just to prove the point to myself. No shame here, but in case you were wondering, I flip-flopped between Wonder Woman and Iron Man. Yes, I’d leave with a goofy grin on my face and a good chuckle, but it worked!
Look this won’t work for everyone, I get it, but the gist here is that you find a word or phrase that you can identify with that will trigger an emotion which exudes strength and power for “you” and begin using it regularly, you will see a positive change in attitude. When I work with individuals on building or rebuilding confidence, I simply state, “Strike a Pose” while demonstrating my chosen power stance in that moment, and after explaining myself to a room full of laughter, ask them to do the same. Yes, this is often met initially with an awkward pause, but I assure you, putting yourself in that position of momentary power, when practiced even just once, modifies your outlook for success at what you’re about to walk into.
Whether it is striking a superhero pose or simply saying to yourself, or someone else a phrase of strength like, “I”m a warrior” and “I can do anything”, when practiced, over time will simply become a part of who you are. I quite literally “strike my pose” in just about anything I do now that even begins to give me a sense of uncertainty. I never said I was perfect with it, which is why I practice, practice, practice! I strike my hero pose before going on stage, before presenting a training session, and even before discussing a really tough topic with my children. As a matter of fact, my son busts out his version of Spider-man or Black Panther for confidence building, and yes, he is a force to be reckoned with!
All that is necessary to accomplish what seems to be an insurmountable task, is to simply change your mind. To change your mind, you must be willing and committed to practice. Do you need to change your mind? Are you ready? If so, with the most professional tone in the world I could possibly say this with, I ask you to “Strike a Pose”!
So, after all that that has been said, no, I am not “prickly” underneath the soft peel, but I am something else. I am a strong, empowered woman that won’t accept no for an answer, especially from myself!
Get out of your own way, rid your mind of those limiting beliefs of self doubt consuming you, and replace them with “I am”, “I can”, and “I will”!
If you enjoyed this read, I’d appreciate a like and a share, but I would also love to hear from you! What is a hard choice that you have had to make to overcome a challenge in your life, or to simply help yourself achieve goals? What is your experience while working in teams? Are you a participant in the field, or do you prefer cheering from the bench? It is through the sharing of experience that we as individuals can grow ourselves and I would be excited to hear your story!
Are you ready for some personal growth? I encourage you to check out my background and service offerings available at www.nancymouellette.com
Credit where it’s due!
Kubai, Andy L., [Image], “Wonder Woman: the Tony Stark of the DCEU?” ScreenRant, Screen Rant, 8 Aug. 2017, https://screenrant.com/wonder-woman-dceu-tony-stark-mcu/.